Showing Compassion

The other day, I read an article regarding etiquette on social media etiquette around death. I’ve studied a lot about death and dying in my undergrad days, but so much has changed technology wise within that period of time. As I was reading, I felt a deep sense of guilt for how I handled a situation a few years ago. I posted something earlier than, in hindsight, I wish I had. I was sad, and in disbelief at the time. I wanted to grieve, but felt removed from the situation due to distance. My post didn’t go well with some. For others, it granted them permission to start posting the same sort of thoughts and feelings I had. Still, I wish I had waited… and I know now, how to navigate similar situations in the future. 

This situation got me thinking… All we want from others when we screw up is to be shown compassion… even if we feel like this is the last thing we deserve or dare to hope for, on some level we still want it. Yet, we are the last ones to show compassion to ourselves.  We beat ourselves up for our humanness, yet generously extend it to others*. We need others in our journey towards health and wellness... but we also need it from ourselves towards ourselves. You cut yourself short in your journey by not doing so! 

If time travel was a reality, I’m sure there would be things I would go back and change… but I can’t. I can fight hard against this reality, however it won’t get me anywhere positive.  The times I fought back against acceptance, I usually ended up in more pain. All I can do, all you can do, is learn from it and try do better next time. Maybe it means needing to go through the same situation ten times before making a change… but it’s still a change. In the meantime, grant yourself some compassion.

*I want to add that not everyone shows compassion to others. I can think of many reasons for why this is and am not going to get into them today. My point is, when we don’t show compassion to ourselves, or others, we end up hurting ourselves due to the heaviness that comes from holding onto it.