Feeling the Fear

I'm pretty open with the fact I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.). One of the ways my O.C.D. manifests itself is by intrusive thoughts of killing those I love. I see these thoughts. I feel them. Before I was diagnosed or got treatment for it, I thought I was evil. I was afraid of myself. I was afraid for the lives of those I loved. I was afraid for people to trust me. I isolated as way to protect my family from myself. I definitely didn't talk about it back then. I wish I knew then what I know now! 

We all have fears. Whether snakes, needles, tragedy, commitment, thunderstorms, change, accidents, the unknown, dying, one's self, and so on. In the book, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway", Susan Jeffers writes how fears can be broken down into categories. Some fears we can control, some we can't. If, however, we boil down all forms of fear, she argues they could all fit into the category of thinking "we can't handle it". Think about it for a second... a woman fears the day her partner dies... deep down she's petrified she won't be able to live on after he is gone. You fail a course you have been studying for for months kicking you out of your program... what will you do next? You go bankrupt... how will handle supporting your your family? You feel your feelings... what if they are too strong? You gain weight... can you deal? 

There's hope! 

#1 Fears Can Decrease and/or Become Extinct. Remember Pavlov and his dogs? The dude who paired the dog's food with a bell. In the beginning, whenever the dog saw his food, he would salivate. One day, Pavlov added a bell to this routine. He gave his dog food, rang a bell, and watched his dog salivate. Over time, the dog began to salivate upon only hearing the bell.  What was once a neutral stimulus (bell), held a very different association now... it meant food was coming. Over time, if you stopped ringing the bell every time you gave the dog food, it would eventually stop associating the bell with it. This bell association would become extinct. So, how does this relate to eating disorders? Recovery often holds a lot of fear to it, especially initially. Maybe recovery symbolizes an increase in responsibility, or perhaps challenging perfectionism. It might even be having to eat a chocolate bar. The more and more you have positive experiences with aspects of your recovery that freak you out, the less power those situations have over you. Take a chocolate bar for example. The more and more you expose yourself to it as a snack, the easier it becomes... you become more familiar with it. Maybe you eat it with a friend so you can support one another.  Keep on challenging yourself time and time again until it becomes just a chocolate bar instead of whatever association you had attached to it. 

#2 You Can Change Your Thinking. Neuroplasicity is an amazing discovery. Researchers used to believe that you could not change how your brain functions or processes information... but it can (check out Norman Doidge's work and books)! It is possible to create new neural pathways in your brain, allowing you to think differently. Instead of thinking of your fear as something that you can't handle... something that has enormous control over you... start telling yourself everyday that you 'got this'. Pull out your Wise Mind skills balancing rational with emotion. It is, after all, just chocolate, peanuts and caramel... Over time, this new way of thinking will be the more dominant pathway in your brain than your old ways of thinking. The more positive experiences you have when facing your fear, the more evidence is built up, reminding yourself that you did it!

#3 Accept That Your Fear May Indeed Come True. In order for the fears I had around killing my family become less paralyzing, I had to do the most counter-intuitive thing.... I had to accept it. I had to accept the fact I could indeed go through with what my thoughts were intrusively telling me to do. I had the ability and capability of doing so. It took a long time getting to that point, to be able to say the words out loud and on paper, but I got there. I had to go back time and time again, reminding myself that it was possible. It was work though, just like changing your thoughts and behaviours in recovery will be. Each time you do something that is pro-recovery, you are fighting back against fear. Maybe you do fail in the future, maybe you do gain weight, maybe the person you trust does break it... It's all part of life... thinking that they 'won't' or 'can't' sets you up for failure.... and you can handle it.

Talk to your therapist/dietician about your fears around moving forward in recovery and come up with a plan today! 

Skill Review

Last night, I woke up and my thoughts keep running in the opposite direction of falling back to sleep. My initial thought when this happens is usually something along the lines of, "Ahh... not again. I hope this doesn't turn into a 'thing' like it did a few years back.' Then I realized I have some control over whether or not my thoughts get the best of me, keeping me awake. I lay there, eyes closed, trying to think about what I smelled, saw, felt (touched), heard and tasted. More than a handful of times did my thoughts wonder to how I couldn't fall back asleep and each time, I tried to pull myself back as to what my senses were trying to tell me in that moment. 

I could feel the cushiness of the pillow as I hugged it by my head. I could feel the warmth of the room.

I didn't really smell much. Maybe the scent of stale air. 

Taste? Hmm... well, it had been a few hours since I last brushed my teeth... so... 

I could hear my breathing, and the creeks and 'settling' of where I live.

I saw... mystical unicorns frolicking in fields on green. Just kidding... come on guys, my eyes were shut... I saw nothing... that was just a test :)

Eventually, I fell back asleep. By practicing mindfulness, I was able to bring my thoughts to the present, instead of worrying how I couldn't fall back asleep. 

A perk of learning skills for eating disorder recovery is that they can often generalize into other aspects of life. Here are a few you can practice:

Distraction - (example of when it can be used: when feeling anxious before/after having eaten something)

This is a great skills to use in the short term. Sometimes we can't always attend to what is distressing immediately. We have to learn how to put it to the side for awhile, until we can deal with it more effectively. Distraction is a great skills to use, especially when you are feeling like you are going to be symptomatic. It's important, however, to go back and learn from the situation that resulted in your feeling distressed.  Distractions can include: colouring, playing solitaire, painting your nails, knitting, calling a friend, writing an e-mail or snail mail (long live the snail mail!!!), cleaning/organizing your living space, learning how to style your hair differently, look up funny videos online, etc. 

Self-Care - (example of when it can be used: when you're feeling crummy about yourself and are about to say/do mean things to punish yourself)

This can take the form of following your meal plan, not weighing yourself, taking your medication properly, asking for help and so on. Self-care is an important part of recovery.  You don't need to punish yourself. You can be kind. You don't always need to feel like you are 'worthy' enough before allowing yourself to practice self-care . Behaviour can come before a change in thought. That's the neat thing about recovery... there are many links in the chain and it doesn't always matter where you start. The more you treat yourself with kindness, the increased likelihood you will start to believe, expect and acceptit!

Journalling - (example of when it can be used: when you have lots of feelings and thoughts and need to get them out)

This can be a great way to 'brain dump' everything that is going on inside.  I often hear that when people actually write those things down, that somehow this process makes it more real. On some level I get that. I think, however, it moves you a little further away from denial, which can them make you more able to actually deal with it... and that can feel scary. Journaling, when you remove self-judgment, can be a helpful way to explore what's going on in a safe manner. It's how you feel in that moment. 10 minutes later, you could think and feel something completely different, and that's ok. Sometimes it's helpful to bring that piece of writing into therapy to discuss/share with your therapist. 

Giving Feeling Form - (example of when it can be used: when you have a strong feeling that feels overpowering/controlling/paralyzing, etc)

This skills come from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and is great at getting you to gain some perspective with what you are feeling. First of all, identify the feeling you are feeling. Then, ask yourself the following questions: what shape does it have, what size is it, in a word what is its internal/external texture, now it's internal/external temperature, how much power does it have, does it have a speed, if you put water on it what would happen? After answering these questions, were you picturing this 'thing' as if it was inside of you? If yes, ask yourself the same questions again, however, envisioning it somewhere within the room. Likely, after doing this, the feeling will lose some of its power/strength/hold on you and will feel more manageable. In the future, when the feelings emerges, you can see it, name it, know it's there, and still move on. It's not going anywhere, it's just there, and feels a little more manageable. 

The last skill I'll mention today is the all too familiar, yet underused skill, of Deep Breathing. Breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, breath out for 5 seconds. Let your brain get some oxygen, focus on the task of breathing in and out, and feel the anxiety decrease as you do it. With this, some people find it helpful to think of breathing in as positivity and breathing out as negativity. Tailor this to your specific needs. 

Skills are so important to use, not only in recovery, but it every day to day life. They help us cope with the ups and downs of life.  They aren't magic and a 'cure all' for all problems, but they are one tool in our tool bag we need in life. The more we practice them, especially when life isn't chaotic (this makes the skill feel more like second nature, allowing us to recall/implement them more easily when we stressed/overwhelmed/anxious), they easier they become. Having a good grasp on a few good skills is better than knowing many without using them. 

I Know You're Going to Struggle...

To My Clients:

I know you're going to struggle from time to time when you see me. I don't expect your recovery to be perfect. And when you struggle, and make choices and/or decisions that aren't in line with the goals we have set up in therapy, I hope you use it as an opportunity to learn something, instead of beating yourself up for it. I recognize, it may take more than a handful of times where you stop working, go backwards, act impulsively or lose hope. And when this happens, I hope you can trust the support team (myself included), who are still there holding hope for you. 

I want you to know... that even though it seems easier to go back to what you know... you don't have to. I know this doesn't sound easy... but it is that simple. Even after messing up, you can still show up to your next session if there's an inkling of wanting to keep working towards recovery. It's also okay to take time to figure out what it is that you really want. I won't chase you though. And, this might seem like I don't care... I'm just trying to teach you the skills we practice in session... like boundaries. I'm trying to teach you to challenge that voice in your head that tells you that I'm mad at you or that what you've done is "too bad". I want you to make the choice... to get to the point where you're the one making the decision... for yourself.... because YOU want it. And, if you think you still want to work, however don't think it's with me any more... that's okay! You have that right as it is your treatment. You won't hurt my feelings... maybe we could talk about this decision before you go though... but I know that's not always the case. 

My understanding and expectation that you will struggle doesn't mean I don't care. It's the opposite. Knowing you will struggle from time to time, and that the door is still open for you to come back (as long as it's not enabling), is a way to show compassion, understanding, empathy, concern, patience, hope, commitment and so much more. And if coming back was thought to be enabling, we would talk about that... Again, not because I don't care, but because I'm trying to do my part in helping you get better. 

I want you to know that you and I... we're not so different. When I was on the other side of the couch, I fought against this idea the entire time... until I realized it was true. I truly hope you get to the place where you realize that you matter... that you have value and worth... I hope you get to the point where the times of struggles become farther and farther apart... Until then... I'm willing to work if you are. You know where to find me.

-Karen

Autobiography In Five Chapters - Portia Nelson

1) I walk down the street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I fall in. 
I am lost... I am hopeless. 
It isn't my fault. 
It takes forever to find a way out. 

2) I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I pretend I don't see it. 
I fall in again. 
I can't believe I'm in the same place. 
But it isn't my fault. 
It still takes a long time to get out. 

3) I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I see it is there. 
I still fall in... it's a habit. 
My eyes are open. 
I know where I am. 
It is my fault. 
I get out immediately. 

4) I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I walk around it. 

5) I walk down another street. 

 

wiTHIN Review

I've been thinking a lot about the graphic novel, wiTHIN, Emily McGratten and I have done, anxiously wondering what the future will be for this book. It's been a vulnerable, and exciting, experience putting work out there for everyone to see and to have an opinion about. It's tough to submit work in hopes of landing a publisher, to not hear back. You question yourself and doubt yourself, while still holding big hopes and a passion for what you created. Yet, I keep having conversation with people... whether on the street or in coffee shops, with family, friends and colleagues. Published or not, this was one of the purposes of wiTHIN... to raise awareness... and it is doing just that! 

It's so incredibly neat to connect with the art community (especially because I can only draw stick people) and the encouragement they have given, in addition to those in the mental health field. I cannot say how thankful I am for the individuals and companies who have took an interest in wiTHIN by doing reviews, interviews or radio shows (see more here). For those who supported our Kickstarted campaign and have bought our book in stores or at comic conventions. Thank you thank you thank you! We believe in this book and want to spread the word through art regarding mental health, eating disorders, and hope. Thank you for continuing to help us do so and for all the ways you have continued the conversation!

Check out wiTHIN's latest review by Asher Klassen here.

Art Therapy for Clients with an Eating Disorder

Last winter, Eve Tesluk and I ran our first art therapy class, focusing on topics related to eating disorders recovery. It was such an amazing experience to see transformation in one's recovery through art. I completely agree that words fail us from time to time, and that another medium is needed to help communicate, express and be heard. 

We are running two sessions, starting Sept. 9th, 2015 and the second on November 4th. The first session focuses on identity and emotional expression, while the second session looks at body-image and self-acceptance. There is no session order in which one needs to complete before doing the other. Sign up today as spaces are limited. We like to keep the group small to increase intimacy and allow time for more sharing, etc. 

What Language Are You Speaking?

Let me paint you a picture for a second. Imagine a parent gives you their child to look after for a few minutes. Gathering from their age, you guage they are old enough to speak and can understand basic words and concepts.  You start talking with them, and they look at you as though you have four eyes, caulking their head to the side in bewilderment. Then, they start talking to you and surprisingly, you have the same reaction. Upon hearing them speak, you realize you are speaking two very different languages and how you thought you knew how to communicate with them suddenly changes. 

I recently had a similar experience, although I knew beforehand that english was not the child's native language. Still, it hit me how much I rely on english to be able to  connect, communicate and build relationship with people and how it was important for me to do this with this particular child. Over the course of time, I did pick up a few words from their language that I could add to my repertoire, as did they. Although, the biggest break through occurred when I hooked a dog leash to my shirt and gave them the handle. They immediate understood that I was a dog, and they were the master. I barked, they lead me around. They gave me a frisbee, I put it in my mouth and shook my head wildly. We found our common language and played longer than the observing adults thought we would. We bonded. 

This got me rethinking how the world of eating disorders and recovery can have its own language that may leave some family and friends wondering, "it sounds like we're using the same words... but we are definitely not speaking the same language". Likely, both parties end up frustrated and disconnected from one another. What to do? 

1. Listen - A good first step is being able to recognize what you don't know, which can be done by listening to the 'words' or 'phrases' your loved one uses. They may range from how they talk about food, their body, therapeutic skills or even the eating disorder itself. For example, some people refer to their eating disorder as 'ED'. 

Reading up about your loved one's illness will help give understanding, on some level, to what they are going through as well. Through books, blogs and websites, you can learn lingo that may help you understand what your loved one is saying. There are lots of resources out there, such as FEAST and NEDIC, to name just a few.

2. Ask Your Loved One -  When in doubt, ask your loved one what they mean. Let them know you are willing/wanting to learn if/when they are ready to share. Be prepared that you may be met with resistance and some may try to block you out of their recovery completely. Don't take it personally. Try not to push either. There are still other ways of learning their language if they aren't in a place, or if the foundation isn't there, to go to them directly. 

3. Ask a Therapist - It is completely okay to seek professional help. Eating disorders are a big deal and you, nor your loved one, can do it alone. Find a therapist trained in the treatment of eating disorders and ask them to help you to understand what is going on and what to do in your specific situation. 

4. Focus on the Emotion Behind What Is Being Said - Words are extremely helpful when communicating, however, it is but one of many mediums used. Try picking up on the emotion behind what is being said. This disorder has rational parts to it, but it has many irrational parts to it too. When we get caught up in words, we might miss the actual message. For example, if your loved one if freaking out about the piece of brownie on their plate, we all know that the flour, eggs, cocoa and butter didn't do anything in and of itself to make your loved one mad. Acknowledge their distress by saying something like, "Jordan, I can see you're upset right now. Do you need anything from me? Anything I can do to support you?" It's not about the brownie. It's more about what they have attached to the brownie that gives it its power. 

5. Find A Common Interest - In my example, playing was the common interest. There is still a lot more to your loved one than their eating disorder. Everyone needs a break from talking about recovery or/and their illness.  Maybe your common language is sitting in silence together while you watch Downtown Abbey or The Big Bang Theory. Maybe its playing Settler of Catan or some other game. Maybe its going to get a manicure. Whatever it is, its important to find so that you still have a way of connecting with one another. Maybe this is an agreed upon activity, or maybe its an interest of theirs that you've picked up on. 

Exercise and Eating Disorders

Once a month, local researchers and professionals in the local eating disorder community come together to discuss research articles related to our field. The goal is to help bridge the gap that exists between researchers and therapists. The discussions that occur, even those bunny trails we inevitably end up on, are invaluable. We met earlier this week to discuss an article on physical activity and, specifically, anorexia. Over the course of our time together, the following themes started to emerge from our discussion time. Eating disorder or not, the following points are good reminders as we work towards building a healthier relationship with food, weight, exercise and our body!

#1 - Our Culture Praises Runners

Currently, we live in a culture where running is 'popular'. It is the latest 'in' thing.  There is this air of superiority that some runners feel over non-runners. As if they are more athletic or healthy because they run. How is one sport more superior than another? Perhaps, I'm a bit bias as my whole life, I've heard how the sport I love to play, is less superior than hockey. You like hockey? Great! I like Ringette... and guess what... we can co-exist without one being 'better' than the other.  Don't like running... no problem! Pick an exercise you enjoy doing, and be healthy about it. . 

It seems as though you can't just run these days... you also have to look the part, and buy all the 'right' type of clothing. Sure, there is a benefit (at times) of wearing certain types of gear... For example, a good pair of shoes is helpful in supporting your feet and wearing proper socks is helpful if you want to avoid blisters!  I'm not against fashion, but if 'looking' the part is more important than having fun while running (or exercising in general), it might be a good idea to take a step back and bring this realization into therapy.  It could be helpful to see a recreational therapist (with experience in eating disorders) as well.

#2 - Our Culture Doesn't Promote Listening to Your Body

On pintrest? Don't worry, I'm sure you've seen the many slogans that promote not listening to your body. Take the all too familiar, "no pain, no gain" slogan. Many people push themselves too far while exercise, which can lead to injury.  Many people, also, return to exercise after injury too quickly, which can result in prolonged or greater severity of injury. Our bodies need rest, our bodies need fuel. We need to start trusting our body's cues and to know our limits. 

#3 - Motivation is Crucial

Ask yourself, "why am I doing this exercise?" Is it for fun? Is it for health and wellness? Do I like it? I am enjoying it? If you have answered 'yes' to these questions, you're heading in the right direction for building a healthy relationship with exercise. If your motivation is to burn calories, to 'tone up', to lose weight or to rid feelings of guilt, someone else may be driver's seat and they definitely do not have your long-term health and wellness in mind.

Research has shown that exercise can be helpful for those struggling with depression and/or anxiety (two common issues in those who struggle with an eating disorder).  It can't be the only skill used to combat these issues. The last thing you want is to break your leg and not have any other method of managing your emotions. It's like investing money... it's never a good idea to put all your money into one stock.  If it crashes, you are at risk of losing more than the money you invested in. 

#4 - We Forget that Exercise is Movement

When we think of 'exercise', people often think of going to the gym, or heading out for a run. It's important to remember that exercise is movement. It includes all forms of  movements, such as: cleaning, sex, walking around on campus, playing the drums, chasing toddlers, travelling to and from the mode of transportation that gets you to work, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, gardening, playing frisbee, and so much more.  Don't discount how you are using your body throughout the day! 

#5 - Our Culture Encourages Tracking Data

From calorie counting, to how many footsteps you have taken in a day, our culture is obsessed with tracking data. For many individuals who struggle with exercise and eating issues, tracking data is often an area that needs to be challenged in order to get better. There is this thought that the more data you have, the better the work out is.  Huh? How does tracking one's steps validate whether or not someone has had a 'good' day versus a 'not so good' day? They are just numbers, just like the numbers on the scale. It can't tell you whether or not you had fun, or listened  to your body, or whether or not you fuelled your body in the healthy way. 

Now, I know individuals who collect data around exercise, and it is simply that... data. It is when the meaning of this data changes into something that controls you, or that takes the pleasure out of exercising, when it becomes problematic.  Exercise isn't always about beating your time or how many kilometres you travelled. There is so much more to see, taste, smell, hear and feel than simply our devices that inform us how far we have gone! 

#6 - Isn't Exercise Supposed to Be Fun? 

YES! It should be. We are likely going to continue doing the things we 'like' versus the things we don't like. Hate the gym? No problem! Hit up the trail by your house with a friend a few times a week. Not a fan of running? Try swimming, or rock climbing, or archery, or hiking, or scuba diving, or golf, or canoeing, or lawn bowling, etc. 

There's this part of me that knows some of you will be reading this and thinking, "why Karen, you run... it's easy for you to say to others who don't run that it's okay, while you're out there doing what society praises".  I'm an advocate of exercise WHEN it's done in a healthy, sustainable, enjoyable, non-ED driven, way.  There's nothing wrong with running in and of itself.  One individual may struggle with running, while the other struggles with walking. The point is to learn how to build a healthy relationship with exercise that is right for YOU and YOUR recovery. It's not about comparing or judges what people do. It's about looking at your motivation for why you are doing it, with the hopes of bringing it more and more in line with health and wellness. So, my question, why do you exercise?

Recovery and Aron Ralston

***This post contains graphic content. Reader’s discretion advised***

In April, I had the opportunity to hear Aron Ralston speak. Remember him? He’s the dude that the movie, 127 Hours, is based off of.  He is also the author of Between a Rock and a Hard Place. A quick synopsis, which doesn’t do the actual experience nor the movie justice, goes like this. Aron, a mountaineer, went for an easy desert trek over the course of a few days. For him, this trek felt like playing in the familiarity of one’s back yard, in comparison to his more intense treks, such as climbing all of Colorado’s ‘fourteeners’, solo… in the winter. He didn’t bother to tell anyone where he was going. Descending into a slot canyon, a bolder dislodged, pinning his right arm against the canyon wall. He stayed there for 5 days and 7 hours, before finally having to break the bones in his arm before cutting it off with a cheap pocket knife. Detached from the bolder, yes... out of the woods yet... no. He later rappelled down a 20m sheer cliff before stumbling upon a family who was hiking in the dessert who helped him reach safety, in addition to a search and rescue put in place through the efforts his mom.

Exhale… 

As I sat there listening to his experience, I could not help but think about some of the parallels to recovery. Before I continue, my intention isn’t to cheekily drum up parallels for the sake of tying these two experiences together (side note: the investment company that hosted the event introduced Aron by talking about how being in investments can often feel like being caught between a rock and a hard spot when working with GIC’s and the stock market… um… ok…). My intention is to encourage, motivate and validate the experience of recovery. Here’s what stood out for me. 

#1 Recovery can often feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard spot… especially early on. It can feel like no matter what you do, or don’t do, you still feel stuck. Your parents beg you to have dinner, while the eating disorder is screaming at you not to. The eating disorder that used to bring comfort and control, has since imprisoned and controls you. You know you can’t continue in your eating disorder, but the thought of leaving it or life without it seems impossible.  I think this is where hope comes into play. Hope that the possibility at least exists, even if you don’t know how to get there. As a therapist, it’s my job to hold that hope for you until you are ready to take it on as your own. The same goes for the family and friends who are supporting you. 

#2 Difficulties and struggle help broaden your perspective.  It just so happened that the day of Aron’s talk, it was day 4 of his ordeal that took place in 2003. This was the hardest days for him. On this day, he was drinking his own urine as he had run out of water. This experience has been a source of perspective for him all these years later. He uses having to drink his own urine as a bench mark to gauge the severity of current situation. For example, is being stuck in traffic, which is making you late for a meeting, worse than drinking your own pee? How about having to eat the rest of your sandwich that is in front of you? Is drinking your own pee worse than weight gain? Inpatient treatment? Taking a semester off school in order to get help? I’m not minimizing the difficulty in making decisions/choices regarding health and recovery. It is a real struggle and for some, drinking pee may be the less scary choice. My point is, when we move past the struggle, it can help shed a different perspective on the present. It can act as a source of motivation.  “If I could do ‘X’, than I can definitely do ‘Y’”; or “Doing ‘B’ is tough… but not as tough as ‘C’ was… I can do this!”  

#3 Thinking of Positive Memories/Feelings in Difficult Times.  When stuck in the canyon, Aron’s mind would wonder to memories that made him smile and feel appreciative. As a therapist, I encourage clients to do the same thing! Being aware of positive memories/feelings helps in changing our thinking. It acts as evidence against  the ED lies that say we are umworthy. It also gives us hope for the future for when these times return… because they will! Being aware of what makes us feel peace, happiness, joy and contentment in the moment gives us a brief reprieve from the fight, in addition to increasing our awareness that ‘good’ does happen, despite the ‘bad’. These feelings act as a light shinning through the crack beneath the door. They let us know it still exists even though you may feel surrounded by darkness.

#4 You Are Stronger Than You Think. I talked with a friend of mine about Aron’s story as few days after the event.  She raised a concern as we talked. She commented how as inspirational as his story is, it may lead many people to belittle their experiences because it wasn’t as drastic. Many more people struggle with an eating disorder (or other mental health issue) than those who have had to drink their own urine and cut off their own arm. The world is filled with such courageous individuals who have had to face their own bolders and/or cut of various aspects of their life in order to be well. Recognize your efforts.  Recognize your strength. Recognize your journey! Just because a movie wasn’t made, doesn’t make it any less significant! In fact, it’s likely even more relatable… which can mean the world to someone who feels as though they are completely alone. 

#5 Faith. There are too many things about Aron’s story, especially about the timing and circumstance of his rescue, for it to all be a coincidence. Whatever your belief or faith practice is, sometimes there are circumstances in life that we can’t explain or don’t understand. I think it’s partly because we don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle… maybe we aren’t meant to either.  A common thread in those who struggle with an eating disorder often has to do with control. Sometimes, it’s important to let go of it and try to trust your faith… or the process.  Trusting your faith doesn’t mean disengaging from the fight, sometimes it just means trusting in what it is in this moment… That maybe there are things at play that you are unaware of that are occurring simultaneously as you fight. You don’t know when or where these things may come together, but keep fighting until they do. Just keep in mind it might be different than how you thought it would.